An industrious fellow uploaded his plight to the Internet for all of us to equally mock and enjoy last week. Going by the name of "Phillyalex," he tells us that he met up with a girl named Anna after he attended a day football game, but by the time they linked up, it was dark and thus had no reason to hold onto his sunglasses, so he asked her to hold onto them for him in her purse, which seems like a kinda weird date request especially assuming homie is a normal person with pockets or, like, a single garment to hang them off of, but I digress. While they were out at a bar, she left to go outside to make a phone call before inexplicably ghosting. Our boy Alex from Philly claims that part's fine considering he "wasn't that into her anyway," but the crux of the issue is that she still had his sunglasses. That was about a year ago and he's been texting her relatively regularly every since in an effort to get them back. Cold blooded.
It's been complete radio silence on her end until—wait for—last week when she finally responded. You can peruse the entire gallery that outlines his struggle without sunglasses and some funny, inventive ways to ask for them back. Unfortunately this is no fairy tale, kids. In a cruel twist of fate, Alex doesn't get his sunglasses back at the end. I don't know about you, but I would've probably just chalked up the mistakenly (?) pilfered shades as an L 11 months ago, let it fucking go and copped a new pair. I mean, they were $12 after all. Seriously. The Ray-Bans above are just a placeholder. I get that it's the principle of the matter, but it's not like they were Persola or some shit.
