Look, I get it, making fun of dudes for wearing cargo shorts is super fucking easy. Take this BuzzFeed list that excoriates all cargo short wearers and pleads with the reader to wear any other type of shorts in lieu of the shorts made infamous by bros who still shop at Abercrombie & Fitch.
Here's my issue though, the list gives up HORRIBLE alternatives and proves that perhaps shorts are the most swagless of all men's garments, a true disappointment to shorts advocates such as myself. But there is no excuse for BuzzFeed advocating that cut off jean shorts are a better alternative. FUCK OUTTA HERE. Skinny jeans cut off at the knee are the official summer uniform of that guy that steals lines from Pitchfork reviews in order to impress girls wearing Native American headdresses at Lollapalooza.
How about instead of crusading against cargo shorts as a whole, we advocate for better cargo shorts? Like, I'm not gonna say that no man should ever wear jeans just because of the denim choices of Michael Jordan and our dads. Instead, we advocate for getting jeans that fit, that aren't super washed out, that aren't bedazzled, etc. And that's how you should approach all sartorial disaster sites. Yes, even cargo shorts.
