These nonnative sneakers really got my whole afternoon all the way fucked up. I mean, not my whole day or anything—that would be giving them too much credit. Only a few things can really fuck up my entire day up, but a good pair of shoes or sneakers can do some solid damage on an afternoon. These really remind me of something that, like, an elf from The Lord of the Rings would wear even though elves in LOTR probably don't wear shoes and instead have conditioned their feet to be resilient and strong so they can bound from tree to tree and shoot arrows while sliding down an elephant's trunk or whatever. Clearly, I don't know shit about Lord of the Rings. But back to these kicks that are cool because they have are no laces. With the Chelsea boot revolution hitting critical mass, it's very on trend being unable to adjust your footwear. Granted, I would probably leave these unzipped so that when I got home after a long, sweaty day, I could flick them of and immediately slide out of my pants and stand in front of the air conditioner like a human dog.
