The Best And Worst Dressed (And Most Heavily On Drugs) At The 2015 Billboard Music Awards

Image via Complex Original

Ed Sheeran

Rumor has it that Ed was stopped at the entrance to the red carpet because security thought he was with the craft services team. Seriously though, how are you going to show up to every event looking like you haven't changed or showered since the last one.

Hozier

More like Hoser. Lather. Rinse. Repeat this joke until he finally takes us to church.

T Swift

T Swift brought out an army of attractive women to premier her "Bad Blood" video went to ridiculous lengths to keep us from seeing her belly button. Ashamed of your out outie, boo?

J.Lo

J.Lo is 45 and still inventing new ways to present the immaculate combination of her ass, abs and cleavage. She's really the G.O.A.T.

David Lee Roth

There is a legitimate chance you, the reader, may have never heard of David Lee Roth. It's probably best that we keep it that way. Under Armour paired with what would have amounted to a pretty dece three piece? You're an asshole, fam.

Ludacris

Luda—the brand, the man, the co-host—has seriously gone through a full-on rebrand. I don't even think of him as a rapper anymore. This is a nice rig, homie. Good job.

Jourdan Dunn, Olivier Rousteing and Kendall Jenner

The Balmain army showed up to announce that an upcoming collabo with H&M is on deck. Dunn is pure, unadulterated perfection, while Rousteing, the duck face gawd, came through in his signature bellhop who can score you coke get-up. Kendall, on the other hand, looks like she should be leading a marching band of professionally good looking people.

Kylie Jenner

Out here looking like she didn't even try the Kylie Jenner challenge. THAT'S OFF BRAND, BOO.

Calvin Harris

I'm siting here just salivating at the thought of the exclusive collabo between dude and his main squeeze, Taylor Swift—both the ensuing bangers and children. I'm not sure the world is ready for that heat.

Britney Spears and Charlie Ebersol

It's times like these where we long for the days of Britney and Justin in matching denim. This is also a reminder that Britney is super southern. Just look at this guy. He's still definitely hammered from kicking it in the Kentucky Derby infield.

Charli XCX

Charli had to accept an award with Iggy for "Fancy," which I'm pretty sure came out in, like, 2012, yet still somehow won an award because the music industry is going to be recouping its expenses on the musical Frankenstein known as Iggy Azalea long after the complete collapse of society.

Dencia

The Internet was hoodwinked into thinking this was Nicki Minaj because, I mean, who else could possible look like a bigger attention grabbing dickhead? WRONG. Have you not seen Nicki recently? Pure class. This is, like, 2011 vintage Nicki at best. Meanwhile, this fit looks like Picasso read Four Pins once before designing a black light poster for freshman college dorms everywhere. Clearly, Dencia, whoever the fuck she is, is our esteemed recipient of the Most Heavily on Drugs award.

Nick Jonas

A walking eggplant emoji. Though, if I were with Miss U.S.A., I would be too.

Iggy Azalea

If the hate you harbor for Iggy in your heart in waning with time, please go watch the "Pretty Girls" video she just dropped with Britney Spears. It will flow through you with renewed intensity.

Wiz Khalifa

For once, Wiz wasn't the most heavily on drug, though he was definitely on the loud the entire night as always. Even though he performed with no shoes on, this is a fucking good outfit? Best dressed? I'm sick, fam.

Mariah Carey

Mariah has reached the echelon of entertainment that has her performing out in Las Vegas on the regular for bachelorettes buttchugging molly water. And yet, these days she sounds like a fucking forklift.

One Direction

Is this one of the first real public appearances without Zayn? I don't know, nor do I care. What I do know is that these dudes get the sickest employee discount at Top Man.

Meghan Trainor

If you're looking for body shaming barz, you've come to the wrong worldwide website *Papa John voice*. We're all posi vibes on Trainor even if, like, I'm not sure she has any real fans, ya know?

50 Cent

When the money's so strong that you haven't made a hit in eight years, but can still show up to award shows off the strength of "21 Questions" R.I.P. Nate Dogg.

Florida Georgia Line

How do these dudes fucking live with themselves showing up to awards shows looking like rich kids of Instagram Alabama edition?

Imagine Dragons

More like Imagine These Dudes Being Relevant For Five More Years. BURN.

Chris Brown

As flagrant as Breezy tends to be, this outfit really isn't all that bad. Also, carrying an adorable baby wearing adorable baby Timbs isn't gonna make people forget you are a human piece of garbage. Being this dude's publicist is the most impossibly thankless after, like, being the goddamn President.

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend

The co-host and her baby faced husband usually show out and tonight was no different. John, all you have to do is not mess up and you've done a pretty good job thus far. Keep it up. Side note: I'd like to get drunk with these two.

Fall Out Boy

Through all their ups and downs, lead singer of Fall Out Boy, Patrick Stump has stayed dedicated to wearing the most swagless hats known to man. Now that's commitment.

Cameron Dallas, Viner

They're inviting Viners to this shit, guys. I'm pretty sure these dudes aren't even old enough to go anywhere in Vegas. What in the actual fuck. BRB, gotta update my resume real quick.