I want this nonnative denim trooper hat for this fucking dope ass vacation I've been planning in my head for, like, three years. It involves flying all the way to the other side of the world where the time difference is, like, 12 hours ahead of us and then just flying back over Europe so that I can say I'm traveling back in time. I don't really have a specific reason as to why I need this particular hat in order to fake ass time travel, but I feel like this hat is just really germane to an elaborate and expensive vacation that I think is a really good idea. When I finally finish the trip all my friends will be like, "You spent thousands of dollars just so you can say you 'went back in time'? You do realize that time zones are just social human constructs, right?" It would probably be way cheaper to just get black out drunk and say I time traveled into the future. Whatever.
