How to Stunt at the Gym Among the Post-New Year's Rush

A guide on how to flourish among the sweaty masses during the post-NYE gym rush.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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New year, new goals. You've finally resolved to actually get your fat ass to the gym in 2015, and while you're going to work off your extra holiday baggage, you've already made peace with the fact that you're not lifting another weight after February.

You won't be the only one looking to accomplish an impossible fitness New Year's resolution, so how do you flourish among the crowds of sweaty, gym-phobic, post-holiday crowd? If you're wondering what to wear, how to workout, or even how to smell, this is How to Stunt at the Gym Among the Post-New Year's Rush.

Cop the Right Kicks

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Sweat Your Ass Off in Designer Gear

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Use a Heavily Branded Waterbottle

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Rock Proper Headphones

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Keep the Hair on Point

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Smell Decent

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Tech on Your Wrist

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Know How to Actually Use the Machines

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Bring an Ugly Friend

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Don't Sweat at All

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