The more I think about it, the more I realize that if I were to somehow turn into an article of clothing, it would most definitely be a cotton/cashmere blend sweatshirt, like this joint from Dana Lee. I mean, I have a stronger than average academic background, I'm a fairly polite human being, my parents taught me to chew with my mouth closed and I'm around the average height of an American male. BUT, I really like sleeping in. And by "sleeping in," I mean sleeping way past what any other functioning human beings would admit is even remotely acceptable. Then there's my whole proclivity towards Newports and weed. Oh yeah, I say "alphet" with zero irony. And, like, my greatest written achievement is easily fan fiction about hanging out with Kanye West. Point being, I'm pretty much 10% cashmere and 90% cotton too. Ya know, just enough nice shit thrown in there to kind of justify my presence in anyone's life.
