Side-Eyed To Hell And Back

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Did you guys realize that Velcro® is a proper name? Like, when East Dane wrote the product description of this Patrik Ervell field jacket, they had to drop the registered trademark in there for legal purposes? I mean, stuff like Gore-Tex and Kleenex have become pretty obvious, but Velcro®? Damn. Someone legit has a monopoly on the Scratchy Fabrics Intertwined with One Another to Fasten an Item Closed market. The problem with Velcro® is obviously that fucking sound it makes when you rip it apart. God, that shit is so terrible and abrasive. I once had a coat like this one, complete with a Velcro® storm flap and, since it was freezing outside, I forgot to take it off when I got to class. About 15 minutes in, it felt like I was in an inferno and had to take it off ASAP. But with the Velcro® closure, there was no way I could do it without everyone in class side-eyeing me to hell and back. So, I sat there sweating my ass off for an hour and a half just to avoid the embarrassment. This pretty much tells you everything you need to know about me.

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