Probability Of Getting You Laid: 75%

Sure, it's basic, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. If you're able to keep your white tee sparkling, then you're already showing off some great qualities—cleanliness, an ability to avoid messy situations, and the knowledge of how to deal with wild stains, a trait that not even all former presidents posses. An immaculately clean and wrinkle-free white tee tells the world you're a not-disgusting human being who cares about comfort and simplicity, and who would not be attracted to that?