Wanna get away, but have no money in your slush fund to book a flight? Japanese brand EOTOTO (don't even ask me how to pronounce that) has your beach dreams covered with this ivory shell pattern shirt that could inspire you to quit your job and sell seashells down by the seashore. I hear it's a pretty good gig. I mean, why would it be the basis of the most OG tongue twister? I think seashell sellers started that joke to discourage people from breaking into the business. Sure, it's a conspiracy, but then how do you explain the flagrant monopoly of seashell selling? Also, you ever find one of those huge sand dollars while you were a kid trawling the beach for buried treasure? Man, those things are weird. I can't believe those are actual living, breathing beings. Nature is fucking crazy, dude. I'm super scared of open water, so I try my best to steer clear of the ocean. You really don't know what could be out there. Sharks (of both the tornado and non-tornado variety) are scary for sure. But have you even thought about a giant squid floating all up in your grill? Frightening. I guess, Nature is as terrifying as it is crazy. And that's why my island-inspired garb is at a minimum. I think I have open water PTSD or something.