So the Scanwiches guy, on behalf of Vice, declared summer 2014 as the summer of normcore. You guys already know my stance on normcore, so I'll spare you that diatribe again. What does the Scanwiches guy give as his reason for such a bold prediction? He tried to buy Tevas and those gross hippie sandals were all sold out. He cites the rise in Birkenstock sales and pretty much every other reason everyone who is trying to make normcore a thing cites.

For our man Scanwiches, the ideals behind normcore are comfort, ubiquity and nostalgia. And it's these notions that are spurring people everywhere to dress like that guy at the end of the street which you grew up on who was super fastidious about raking the leaves. Right out the gate, I'm calling shenanigans on the comfort thing. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK FASHION IS UNCOMFORTABLE? HAVE YOU EVER WORN A CASHMERE COAT? THAT SHIT IS BEYOND COMFORTABLE. My expensive sneakers and shoes are also quite comfortable. In fact, I don't own anything that isn't super fucking comfortable. Maybe all the references to comfort are made in light of womenswear. And, at that, I'm willing to concede. A lot of that high-end shit you ladies wear does not look v comfortable in the slightest. But don't you ever compare an Adidas slide to a fucking plain bologna sandwich again, Mr. Scanwiches. At worst, Adidas slides are fried bologna sandwiches. At best, they are caviar blinis, simple and unadorned, sure, but fucking amazing. If you feel the need to be super literal, they are a caprese sandwich. Again, still simple, still comfortable, still nostalgic, but way fucking better than a plain bologna sandwich. Hey guy, let me hold your scanner and some sammies though. I want to do a post where I say what type of sandwich my favorite rappers are. Now that shit would be entertaining.