Oh snap, come June 23rd you're gonna be able to cop Google Glass from Mr. Porter, which is awesome because then you can read emails from them calling you "Mister" without looking at your phone. Also, selfies are gonna be so live right now. I'm assuming Google Glass works with Instagram, right? I mean, the only point of looking like a turbo nerd douche in public is to do it for the 'Gram. Straight up, when writing this I realized I had absolutely zero knowledge about what these joints are even capable of doing. Like, can you even read emails on them? Who knows? If this shit is worthless and just tells the time, lets you know the weather and is a camera, then y'all are worst hypebeasts than kids who line up for sneakers. At least a sneaker can potentially make you look cool or make you some money on eBay. This thing just seems to ensure no one at the bar will like you. If my friend showed up in these I'd ban him for life from the bando. And by "bando," I mean my apartment that is decidedly not a bando. But bando sounds cooler than saying, "cooperatively owned apartment building."
