Some things are bae. Some things are not bae. It's important that you be able to differentiate betwixt the two, lest you end up looking like a swagless fucktube of a human who has the inability to pick the superior option.

However, baeness, or lack thereof, can be misleading. Some things that you may think are bae may not, in fact, actually be bae, and if you choose incorrectly, you will die alone. So, naturally, what things are bae, you ask? Well, anything that is worthy of a long-term investment—of time, of money, of emotion, of whatever. Heed my teachings, friends, because the last thing you wanna do is fuck around and become Skip Baeless.

Drew Millard wrote this while listening to UGK. You can read more of his work on Noisey and follow him on Twitter here.