Clothing is bullshit and you're finally over it. Done with the vanity and consumption. Done wearing six unnecessary layers just to stunt on your boys. You're older, wiser and need to figure out something meaningful to do with your life before your high school reunion. "Bro," you tell your bros, "I'm finally post-menswear. I'm zen. I'm fucking #zenswear™."

Let me be the first to welcome you to the club of giving up. You couldn't compete anymore. It wasn't a money thing. It's just that while you were busy finding yourself, everybody started wearing leather baseball jerseys. You were more confused than bitter. Your only option was to return to your thrift shop roots and commit to '90s hiker dad as your primary aesthetic. People don't even believe you used to be a famous style blogger. But you've got the disposable income and free time now that you're not wasting both on clothes, and no woman will take you in your current unhygienic, organic state, so you'd better find something to do with yourself. Let's explore your options now that you're #zenswear.

Angelo Spagnolo is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.