History doesn’t repeat itself but it does auto-swagger jack. The past a swirling maelstrom of trends that, soon as we think they’ve been locked securely in Davy Jones’s wardrobe, get vaulted through the eye of the whirlpool to the surface, and all of us grab on for dear life. (Did nautical metaphors go out with nautical clothes? Poo, poo.) But trends come back because they have redeeming qualities, things we didn’t latch onto the first thirty times it hijacked the zeitgeist. And if nothing else, with how the future looks from our 2014 vantage point, we’re better-served biting the last millennium than we are crossing our fingers and checking days off the calendar. SO. ‘Fore you ask how much time this wigga’s spendin’ on the intro, munch on these ten style tips you can learn from each of the past ten centuries.

Rick Morrison is a writer living in North Carolina. Follow him on Twitter here.