Salutations, Edwins and Camillas. It’s your favorite B-list writer's favorite B-list Starbucks barista, coming to you mildly delayed from outside a public library. I’m camped out 'til forever, so I can seamlessly hop on a govt-subsidized PC whenever my heart desires and deliver these digital psalms via dial-up. 2k14 isn't just my year—it's OUR year.

I was recently informed that 2013 is over. The year went by like Hemingway says you go broke: gradually, then suddenly. There’s no shortage of '13 wrap-ups piled atop these four pins, so I’m going to give you something even more wildly speculative. Yep, this is a list of the things most likely to flourish next year 'cause I kick that real conceptual shit. 2013 is dead to me as it should be to you, so take my hand while we glide through 2014 like the Ghost of Christmas Future (who will be releasing a holiday “Sh!t” remix any day now I would imagine).

Rick Morrison is a writer living in North Carolina. Follow him on Twitter here.