Every new year, millions of people make unrealistic promises to themselves that they seldom keep. They resolve to improve their lives through drastic life changes like going to the gym, spending more time outdoors or cutting down on the amount of time spent sitting in my car outside my ex-girlfriend’s house at three in the morning.

Since we're all going to grow as people in 2k14—for real this time—let me provide some more manageable substitutes to your average, easily breakable New Year’s resolutions. Maybe if you subscribe to one of these promises, you’ll actually follow through and won’t feel like the pathetic quitter my dad likes to constantly remind me I am.

Matt Rimer is a writer living in Boston. Follow him on Twitter here.