A PICTURE-BY-PICTURE BREAKDOWN OF RAPPERS' INFATUATION WITH ART BY THE KID MERO

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IDK IF YOU CAN TELL BUT THIS IS ASHER ROTH LOOKING AT A PAINTING. WHAT A WING. MY SON IS WEARING A BABUSHKA HAT AND A PARKA INDOORS. IS IT COLD IN THE GALLERY LIL DUDE? WHY DON'T YOU HAVE SOME OF THAT BOX WINE THEY SERVING SHIT WILL WARM YOU RIGHT UP. ASHER PROLLY ADMIRES ART FROM AFAR CUZ UNLESS THAT SHIT IS WALL DECORATIONS AT TARGET I DON'T THINK "I LOVE COLLEGE" SOLD ENOUGH TO BE PURCHASING SEMINAL ARTWORKS.

"DIDDY TAKING A SELFIE WITH MONA LISA" IS A HILARIOUS SENTENCE. GO AHEAD SAY THAT SHIT OUT LOUD B. DIDDY WHAT ARE YOU DOING MY GUY? DON'T YOU GOT LIKE 9 KIDS B? HOW YOU UP IN ITALIAN MUSEUMS TAKING SELFIES WITH OVERRATED WORKS OF ART AND YOU GOT 9 KIDS? I GOT 2 KIDS AND I CAN'T EVEN TAKE AN UNINTERRUPTED SHIT. HOW DO YOU MANAGE? OH I KNOW, YOU HAVE MORE MONEY THAN THE FUCKIN YANKEES AND SOME JAMAICAN LADY THAT SPEAKS BELGIAN IS RAISING THEM.

OH MAN. YO I FUCKS WITH BASQUIAT BUT BASQUIAT IS SNAPBACK ART NOW B. EVERYBODY IS ON THAT SHIT BRUH. CAN WE CHILL? CAN I START DOING WILD HEROIN AND SCRIBBLE SCRABBLE ON A NAPKIN THEN SELL IT FOR A MIL? NO? I GOTTA EAT ANDY WARHOL'S ASS FIRST? HE'S DEAD B. *DIDDY VOICE* FUCK IM POSEDA DO NOW?! ITS ALL FUCKED UP NOW!!" BY THE WAY DIDDY WENT ALL IN AND GOT A BASQUIAT TATTOO ON HIS NECK LIKE A TRUE ARTISTE. GO PAINT A HOUSE.

WERE DIDDY AND EMINEM ON A CLASS TRIP? AM I UNCULTURED? WHY ARE YOU N****S SO EXCITED TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH THE MONA LISA? THAT BITCH AIN'T EVEN THAT HOT. I'D RATHER TAKE A SELFIE WITH KAT STACKS. NAH IM JUST KIDDING, I GOT HERPES JUST TYPING THAT SMH. ON SOME REAL SHIT THO EM LOOKS LIKE A REALLY SERIOUS RODENT RIGHT HERE AND HE IS WEARING A KANGOL HAT WHICH IS THE OFFICIAL HAT OF "COOL DADS" EVERYWHERE. BY COOL DADS I MEAN DADS THAT PICK YOU UP FROM SCHOOL BLASTING HOT97 OH ITS A COMMERCIAL FOR MAJORWORLD AUTO "WHO CARES ITS THE RAP STATION MR. CEE IS DOING THE COMMERCIAL!! DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT A LEGEND HE IS!" THAT'S WHAT YOUR DAD EMINEM WOULD SAY.

YO I AM SERIOUSLY WIPING TEARS FROM MY EYES RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THIS IS BRINGING ME SO MUCH JOY. THE BOSS RIGGYRAUCE HIMSELF PERCHED ON A FOLDING CHAIR OR MAYBE A REGULAR CHAIR MAYBE EVEN A CHAISE CUZ CHAISES ARE MORE BOSSLIKE, PAINTING A LANDSCAPE. THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST PICTURE I'VE SEEN ON THE INTERNET IN A WHILE BECAUSE IT IS SO FUCKING INCONGRUENT. I PICTURE ROZAY UNWRAPPING A BRICK OF YAY OR GETTING A BJ FROM A YOUNG LADY WHO HAS MADE POOR CAREER CHOICES. NEVER IMAGINED HOMIE BOB ROSSING THE FUCK OUT LIKE THIS DRAWING REEDS AND PELICANS IN A SLEEPY MARSH.

SHOUTOUT TO MY GUY JAYSON MUSSON AKA HENNESSY YOUNGMAN FOR PUTTING ME ON TO DAMIEN HIRST BECAUSE I HAD NO IDEA WHO THAT MUTHAFUCKA WAS. HE INSPIRED AN OLD PIECE I WROTE CALLED "CONTEMPORARY ART IS BULLSHIT" WHICH IT IS BECAUSE DUH, LOOK AT HOW HYPE SWIZZY IS TO HAVE GIANT SAND ART STICKERS THAT PROBABLY COST MORE THAN GETTING YOUR TITS DONE IN A BUGATTI. BUT THEY LOOK LIKE SHIT A 3RD GRADER WOULD MAKE IF YOU WERE LIKE "MAKE ME A COOL AWESOME ART MASTERPIECE!!" SKULLS GUNS AND BUTTERFLIES? ARE YOU ELEVEN MY GUY? GIMME A FUCKIN BREAK.

PHARRELL IS A LEGEND BRUH. LEMME JUST PREFACE THE SLANDER WITH THAT. PHARRELL'S IMPACT IN MUSIC CANNOT BE FUCKED WITH WHICH IS WHY ITS OK TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT MY DUDE IS DRESSED LIKE A JAPANESE TODDLER GOING TO A SEMIFORMAL EVENT. KAWS ALSO REALLY GOT MUTHAFUCKAS OPEN OFF THE LITTLE BART SIMPSON SKULL GUY SHIT AND THAT MIDGET STATUE PROBABLY COST MORE THAN A DRONE STRIKE.

REMEMBER THIS SHIT? THIS WILD SAV MARINA ABRAMOVIC WHO I GUESS IS A PERFORMANCE ARTIST DID SOME SHIT WITH JAYZ FOR HIS "PICASSO BABY" VIDEO WHICH WAS KINDA THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS PIECE. I THINK SHE DID THIS THING WHERE SHE STARES AT PEOPLE OR MASTURBATED IN THE CEREAL AISLE AT PATHMARK. NOT SURE WHICH ONE BUT MUTHAFUCKAS WAS LOSING THEY SHIT ABOUT IT. SO NATURALLY JAYZ GOTTA BE IN THE MIX. ALSO KANYE SAID HE'S MARINA ABRAMOVIC WHICH I DON'T GET BUT MAYBE IT HAS TO DO WITH BOTH OF THEM SNIFFIN WILD COKE UP THEY NASAL.

KANYE IS SO ILL MAN, HE'S SO FUCKING LEGENDARY AND GREAT. WHO ELSE YOU KNOW CAN HANG OUT WITH A JAPANESE GRANDMA, SOME GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE HE'S SUCKED MANY A COCK IN IBIZA, AND A GOLDEN TEDDY BEAR, WHILE KEEPING THE VIBES POSITIVE AND FUN? NOBODY THAT'S WHO BECAUSE KANYE IS THE NEXT STEVE JOBS HE'S THE NEXT LARENZ TATE HE'S THE NEXT DICK VERMEIL. KANYE IS THE NEXT BEA ARTHUR!! EVERYTHING IS KANYE!! KANYE IS THE NEXT GEOFFREY GIRAFFE MUTHAFUCKA!! YOU DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS INTERNET!!

CHRIS BROWN IS A GRAFFITI WRITER. PERSONALLY I FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY ABOUT CHRIS BROWN COOPTING GRAFFITI BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I WAS NEVER REALLY SHIT IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF GRAFFITI I STILL GOT ARRESTED FOR IT, GOT INTO BEEFS FOR IT, RUINED SNEAKERS WITH EXPLODING RUSTOS FOR IT ETC. SO BREEZY JUST JUMPING RIGHT IN THE GAME WITH 8 BILLION CANS OF MONTANA IS KINDA CORNY. APPARENTLY HE GOT A LIL FLOW WITH IT BUT SO WHAT? GO PUSH A CART BRUH. GO GET HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A NEWSPAPER STICK CUZ YOU CLIPPED SOMEONES FILLIN. IF YOU NEVER STOLE BABY FORMULA WHILE WEARING AN EXTREMELY TECHNICAL NORTH FACE JACKET WITH 800 POCKETS AND 209 ZIPPERS YOU CAN'T REALLY CALL YOURSELF A GRAFFITI WRITER. TO QUOTE THE GREAT PHILOSOPHER MEEK MILLICUS "THERE'S LEVELS TO THIS SHIT."