Have you ever wanted to pay a monthly subscription fee for a fake girlfriend? And no, by "fake girlfriend" I don’t mean a prostitute. I mean a company sending you automated texts and phone calls for a price. For $30/month they’ll even get you a Facebook relationship status change. Sorry, I just threw up from sadness. Why the fuck would anyone pay to catfish themselves? Invisible Girlfriend actually won a contest and they were given $3,000 fucking dollars as prize money. Let me repeat that, a company called "Invisible Girlfriend" that sells, literally, invisible girlfriends won a non-ironic prize. I gotta start entering more fucking contests. And to all the ladies out there with visible thirst seeking invisible solutions, fret not because Invisible Boyfriend is on deck.