Do you ever look at a painting and cry? That’s because your pathos vibes are out of control! Art reveals something deep about the human spirit and teaches you lessons about life that can only be articulated through colors and oil and a flick of bundled horsehair. At least, that’s what I read on a pillow (it was a really an embroidered body pillow).

Art has lots to say about lots (that was on a smaller pillow, sort of a lower back thing), but it has perhaps the most to say about women. Women are confounding creatures, but art, as you’re about to learn, is ready to expose all their secrets and tell you everything you need to know to interface with the other half of the world.

Rachel Seville is a writer living in New York who believes in miracles. Read her blog, Pizza Rulez, here and follow her on Twitter here.