Yeah, I know, the irony of this article about how to be stylish without the Internet is not lost on me. But the fact is, you can still keep your #menswear game 4.5 hundred without the Internet. And this is me telling you that through a fucking blog, so you know I sincerely believe that with all of my dumb, little heart. Your biggest obstacle will be saying goodbye to the web and not looking back. But I believe in you. You can do anything. YOU HAVE AS MANY HOURS IN A DAY AS BEYONCE. (Full disclosure: I’m in bed sick and the fever is starting to take hold.) Here’s the last thing you’ll ever look at on the Internet if you know what’s good for you.

Rick Morrison is a writer living in North Carolina. Follow him on Twitter here.