The Best Movies And TV Shows From Our Childhood On Netflix Instant Right Now

When we were kids, you couldn't relive shit, at least not TV shows. You had a VHS collection, but you couldn't just thrown on, like, season 3, episode 4 of Cheers or whatever. Nope, you had to wait around for reruns like an asshole. Shit was hard. But now the Internet allows us an unending supply of nostalgia for things that weren't even that long ago. That's exactly why we keep doing these "...of our childhood" posts, because you suckers will always read them. Also, it keeps gross olds from reading our site and asking stupid questions like, "What's a ski-pole job?" Um, it's a girl sitting between two dudes, giving each a handski, like ski poles, possibly in the back row of a movie theater, Mom, now go back to reading the AOL news page.

Unfortunately, Netflix seems to have lost a lot of the classics in the past year: the OG Batman cartoon, Spider Man, Gargoyles, etc, which I didn't know when I pitched this idea. But it's all good because the absence of mainstream picks allowed me to bring a couple deep cuts to your attention. Add these to your queue and travel back to a time when someone else bought all your food. Seriously, think about what a luxury that was. Fuuuuuuuuck.

Angelo Spagnolo is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.

The Wonder Years

I could tell you about how my dad loved The Wonder Years and would watch the syndicated reruns every night from the kitchen table, staring into the living room where, over his meatloaf and my desperate longing for recognition. But this isn't a creative nonfiction seminar so instead I'll say that if you were born sometime in the '80s and weren't tryna smang Winnie Cooper through the TV—literally pelvis to the not-so-flatscreen—then you're un-American. Also, remember how the older brother always called Kevin "scroat"? We need to bring that insult back into the dominant lexicon, scroat.

Arthur

Arthur was like Doug, but for kids who had to watch PBS because we only had, like, four struggle channels. Arthur didn't really look like an Aardvark, but it was brilliant casting because nobody in the world knows what an aardvark looks like to begin with. If I saw an aardvark in the wild I’d be like, “That’s can’t be an aardvark. Where’s his yellow sweater?"

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

T2 is a top five film all time, but that's not why I included it in this list. As a young lad in America, nothing was cooler than 13-year-old Edward Furlong riding around LA on a dirt bike, hacking the ATM to go to the motherfucking arcade with a redheaded mullet sidekick. If you needed to thoroughly explain the 1990s to someone, all you would need is three screen caps of a young John Conner.

The Big Green

The Big Green combines so many of my favorite childhood things. It's a sports movie about a scrappy band of lovable misfits, including the fat kid from The Sandlot for sports movie cred, the hot older sister from The Wonder Years, Steve Gutenberg and soccer, which I loved until I realized that you had to play real football to get a decent makeout sesh. Plus, it depicted the crippling alcoholism of small town life. Spoiler alert: The team eventually beats the team stocked with highly-skilled douchers who are for some reason, like, at least ten years older than the protagonists.

Sudden Death

Van Damme made so many brilliant movies in the 90s, it's possible you may have missed this one, but let me paint you a picture: JCVD used to be a fire fighter until he failed to save a little girl. Now he's a weak ass security guard at a hockey arena. He's working a game, but also his kids are there because being a single parent is rough. His kids think he's a pussy for quitting the fire department. JCVD has a lot of troubles, and on top of it, somebody has put a bomb in the arena (or something, I can't remember, this was 20 years ago.)

But here's why you should watch Sudden Death: JCVD shoves a small fire extinguisher in his belt, runs a hose from the nozzle up his jacket sleeve, then uses that contraption to propel a drill bit out of his sleeve and into the neck of a domestic terrorist. This is a top-5 badass action star move, ever . If this scene isn't an enduring image of your childhood, go back in time, rent this movie once a month for six years, then come back and read this post again.

Saved By The Bell

So by now you're realizing most of this list is just "who gave us the most prepubescent boners" and exhibit-A is Kelly Kapowski. Remember that when I say this, I'm totally speaking as 90s me, putting myself in that mindset (like any great writer) and totally not talking about smashing teen girls, which would be disgusting. Thiessen been staying bomb though so I'm not that worried about it.

The Nighmare Before Christmas

Jack Skellington's tale isn't just relevant because it's October, but because the kids probably don't know there was a time when Tim Burton made interesting movies instead of random trash starring either his wife or Johnny Depp. I haven't seen this movie in years, but getting game-over-zombie-stoned and watching it while crushing a jumbo bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups sounds like a solid Halloween activity.

Goosebumps

Keeping with the Halloween theme, I guess, here’s Goosebumps. I didn't read Goosebumps because I could read real books, but I definitely watched the show, which was not scary, but featured a cool dog with glowing green eyes in the opening. For awhile there was a spooky block with Goosebumps and a show called Eerie, Indiana, which I remember liking more. Hey Netflix, get me some Eerie, Indiana. Don't watch Goosebumps unless you want to relive being super fucking bored.

Jingle All The Way

Recipe for hilarity: Sinbad. That's all you need, so when in addition to Sinbad you have comedic Arnold (78% as good as action Arnold, which is still good), the late, great Phil Hartman (RIP) and Christmas, you've got certifiable comedy gold. Jingle All the Way is second only to Bad Santa when it comes to best Christmas comedy dialogue. Quote me on that *patiently waits for quote to be added to DVD packaging*.

The Great Mouse Detective

People only remember animated movies if they're made by Disney, which is weak because GMD is one of the trillest animated films ever. It's like Sherlock Holmes, except he's a mouse. The bad guy is an evil rat who gets drunk. What else do you need in a movie, kids? Fucking CGI robots? In our day cartoons were 2D and it was the story that mattered, man.

Small Soldiers

Sure there was another movie from our childhood about toys coming to life, but they weren't militant toys fighting an epic battle for...something important? Small Soldiers may not have had Tom Hanks’ voice, but it had David Cross and Dennis Leary's, and real life, 16-year-old Kirten Dunst. This movie has been on my queue for two years, but my girlfriend never wants to watch it because she doesn't understand quality filmmaking.

Dinosaurs

Was Dinosaurs even a children's show? I remember one episode where the teenage dinosaur son was contemplating fighting his dad, which seems like pretty heavy subject matter. Obviously, I don't remember too much of this show except the baby saying, "I'm the baby!" and the fact that the dad was a construction worker. Basically, Dinosaurs was Roseanne, but with dinosaurs, which sounds better than 95% of the new shows this fall.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

All hyperbole aside, this is a great movie. You don't have to be ashamed at being attracted to Jessica Rabbit. Asher Roth rapped about it and he's a middle class white rapper, essentially the envy of everyone who writes for Four Pins, so it's all good. You can also admit that Judge Doom scared the shit out of you, even if his violence was only perpetuated against cartoons. Roger hiding in a sink of dirty dishes while a pack of weasels with Tommy guns search Eddy Valiant's apartment is tension at its best, regardless of genre.

Monkey Trouble

Every kid thinks it would be tight to have a monkey as a pet because parents don't want to tell kids that monkeys throw their feces at you and occasionally rip people's faces off. Wise up kids, it's a harsh world out there. Monkeys ARE trouble. Related: I was really high on Thora Birch in the mid-90s. My friend Becky had a Bop! magazine with Birch on the cover. That's how fucking '90s I am. Bop! I didn't even need to add an exclamation mark to that statement because it's already included. Anyway, my girl Thora had a solid streak around Now and Then, but after American Beauty has anyone seen her anywhere on planet earth? Should’ve hired me as your agent, boo.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

Is there a show that defined our generation more than Power Rangers? Sure, Batman: The Animated Series and other classic shit was key, but this was something NEW, not based on a classic superhero. (Rather, adapted from the Japanese just like your weak ass wardrobe.) The group was racially, and robotically, diverse. The black guy break danced. The nerd wore glasses. Things made sense in the world. Sadly though, after, like, two seasons, and one awesome fucking movie, the Power Rangers fell into a cycle of continually reinventing itself in order to keep the kids interested, but us OG fans lost interest. Why couldn't you just stick with Kimmy? Definitely got mad hard for Kimmy, thus bringing this article full circle, just like I learned in college. Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi!