Kenneth Cole Is A Dick

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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"If you look at lists of the biggest Twitter gaffes ever, we’re always one through five. But our stock went up that day, our e-commerce business was better, the business at every one of our stores improved, and I picked up 3,000 new followers on Twitter. So on what criteria is this a gaffe?" This is what Kenneth Cole had to say in response to the backlash of his second super offensive tweet making light of the conflict in Syria.

First, you just admitted to topping lists of the worst Twitter gaffes ever. THAT'S NOT A GOOD LOOK, BRO. That's like bragging about having the longest list of unsatisfied sexual partners.

I mean, you're kidding me, right? I'm a certifiable asshole and even I know you don't make fun of people dying. Unless they die in a funny way like while on the toilet or something.

The problem with Kenneth Cole is that he freely admits that his social media strategy is precisely trolling to offend people.

"We’re clearly bolder with our social messages than we are with our fashion messages, and that’s by design," said Cole.

DUDE, NOW YOU JUST ADMITTED THAT YOU DESIGN BORING, SHITTY SHOES AND TO MAKE UP FOR IT YOU WRITE WILD OFFENSIVE TWEETS. You know who else does shit like this? People with no talent. Like, when Gaga wears a meat dress to obfuscate the fact she just is rehashing Madonna's career. Or, like that kid in school who doesn't get hugged enough at home who then acts like an ill douche in the lunch line because he really just wants a friend.

The worst thing about all this? After taking a 50 Cent circa Get Rich or Die Trying era stance, being all unapologetic and shit, Cole back pedals and says he was trying to start a conversation. The only conversation you were successful in starting was one about how much of a dick you are.

Also, I'm convinced that the real reason retail business picked up in "every one of your stores" was because a bunch of brolic dudes were trying to fuck some chicks who smell like Bath & Body Works and daddy issues. So, yeah, business as usual.

My advice? Stay in your lane, Kenneth. Make squared-toed shoes and keep your fucking mouth shut.

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