In an effort to keep it 100 I gotta admit that I still haven’t read an issue of The Green Soccer Journal. Have you guys read it yet? I always feel like a magazine dedicated to soccer would be called The Crimson Football Intelligencer or some shit like that. But maybe that’s just the result of years of being friends with pretentious Americans who wake up at, like, 7am to watch Premiership matches and insist you call it "football." UM, IT’S AYSO NOT AYFO, FUCK FACES. ME AND THE GREEN JOURNAL CREW CALL IT "SOCCER." Although you can bet your ass I am gonna tease the GSJ boys about their egregious use of turtlenecks and necklaces in their latest video. This kid Luke I went to elementary school with always wore a turtleneck under his Cub Scout uniform. Even the fat kid in Cub Scouts clowned on him for that. I learned at a very young age that turtlenecks are certifiably not the jam. But, then again, I’m not a soccer hooligan despite my best efforts, so what the fuck do I know? Other than the aforementioned turtlenecks and necklaces, this issue features styling by Stephen Mann and Jernade Meade wearing coverall shorts with one strap undone. I repeat, COVERALL SHORTS WITH ONE STRAP UNDONE. Most importantly, there’s a lady wearing a chicken mascot head with her titties out.