Stop being weird and get in there. It's your dick. You've manhandled it upwards of 900,000 times. It can literally handle a beating, so why are you scared of it now? Squat over your toilet or in the shower, and start stretching everything out like a giant wad of chewed-up bubblebum. You know how you stretch out your face when you're shaving so that everything's nice and flat? Do that, except with your penis and nutsack.