Like Xerxes and his tricked out palanquin of old, stunting on plebs with statement pieces is a novice’s game. And now that it’s 2013, and everybody hates Givenchy for the post coital discharge that I’ve always said it was, it’s time to move away from gauche stunting. The art of low key stunting is best mastered through basics—like wisps of smoke, you’re whispering sweet nothings to everyone around you reminding them that their game, upon closer inspection, is on some last year shit.

CSC’s kyber cloth chinos perfectly epitomize this art. They vaguely resemble plebeian chinos and are a piece of clothing you put on the lower half of your body. Fortunately, that’s where the similaritioes ends because these made in America, straight-through-the-thigh bangers do everything that normal people pants do, but better. In a washed Nantucket red they’re not quite burgundy (hipster) and not quite fire engine (guido), which is good because on the spectrum I’ve clearly just made up they make you not quite an insuferable asshole.