Clark Kent's Guide to Dressing Like A Menswear Herb

The Daily Planet journalist gives us his best style tips.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Hi there, Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter of The Daily Planet here. If there's one question I get a lot, it's "Clark... are you Superman?" Which is absolutely ridiculous! Now that that's out of the way, the second question I get is "Wow Clark, how do you always look so boring and inconspicuous?" And you know what? I literally ask myself that every day. That's why I'm so thankful the folks at Complex asked me to write this here article. 

You know, I've always thought men's style should make you look as lame as possible. That's why my wardrobe is full of stuff most guys wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Why is that? Well, the less people look at you, the better. After all, it's not like you're harboring some deep secret like you're an alien in disguise—hahaha! How ridiculous! Learn how to blend in with your—I mean my—fellow humans by looking like a complete idiot. Feast your eyes on Clark Kent's Guide to Dressing Like A Menswear Herb.

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Keep your identification visible at all times.

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Smile like an idiot.

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Part your hair like a dickhead.

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Pleats? Yes, please!

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V-neck sweaters are totally cool.

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Make sure your lapels are wider than your face.

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It's important to dress a little "fun" too!

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Vests do impress!

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Fedoras go with everything.

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If you've had a long day, it's okay to be a little ruffled.

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Take your style cues from The Matrix.

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You totally need a man bag.

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Think of buttons as "suggestions."

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Wear glasses; they're the best disguise ever.

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If all else fails, grow a beard and dress like a vagrant.

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