10 Signs That You're a Struggle #Influencer

Image via Complex Original

Buying followers is probably the ultimate fuckboy move. If this is a path you've taken to increase your perceived influence, then you're probably that kid in school who bribed other kids with ill candy to hang out with him. And now you figured out that you don't even have to lose dope candy on followers; you just buy them.

So you finally learned about some trend everyone else has been on for a minute, or decided the waters were safe enough to take the plunge yourself. Well when you announce to the world that this is the hot shit, what you're actually signalling is that it's time to move on to the next. Whether it's because you're so late or because you're so wack, your approval lets others know that this shit is played out.

We live in an age where, with access to the right technology, anyone can be connected with what's happening in every corner of the globe, and this includes the arena of style. But even with globalized communications running full-tilt, it's hard to purely influence electronically. There's a reason why people who want to succeed in fashion and style still flock to NYC, Paris, London, Tokyo, etc. The face-time and relationships that form IRL are invaluable, and it's pretty hard for a struggle influencer to beat that merely with insight coming from Iowa.

Unless corn becomes a trend...

Nothing gets between a struggle influencer and attempting to pull the strings that dictate tastes, entire markets, and global trends... Except for his daily chores. And there's no way he'll have the balls to test his mom or dad's word. A struggle influencer who's still living at home will do as he's told, because of the five words that would destroy his soul: "No internet for a week."

In the struggle influencer's head, it doesn't matter that they weren't invited to some event or party that everyone else seems to be at. They'll tweet out bits of info abou the night's happenings and RT others who are there while sitting alone at home. Struggling? Yes. Symptom of mental delirium? Possibly.

So you finally scored a pity invite to an event, probably because the organizers had to really pack it in to please the client. Nevertheless, you're stoked, and of course you try to RSVP with a +1 so you can flex on your date. Request: denied. The last time you got a +1 was when you gained an extra life in Mario Bros.

You've tweeted at them so many times that it's come to this. All you wanted was some acknowledgement of your fandom/existence, but you @'d your favorite label so often that whoever manages the brand's social media hit you with the verboten. It's time to learn that the brand doesn't care who you are, or find another brand to harass.

Yes, people actually do this to make it look like they're in a brand's good graces. It's one thing to fake it 'til you make it. It's quite another to fake having made it 'til you make it. If you're pretending to be on a brand's "cool guy" list, there's no way you'll ever be on that lineup.

Your influencer HQ is tricked out with multiple monitors, the sickest ergonomic chair money can buy, and everything else you need to stay up to date with your influencing ways. But, despite all that, you're still in your parents' basement. The only influencing that ever happened there was when you snuck down some vodka from your parents' bar and, while under the influence, puked on the carpet. To this very day, there's a faint vomit-y smell.

If you go around tirelessly referring to yourself as an influencer, then you're probably not affecting the game at all. If your self-proclamations are the only time your name and the notion of influence are in the same sentence, you definitely do not have a claim to the belt. Your struggles, however, may deserve a noted place in history.