"The Skirt" is an ongoing series in which Four Pins' resident lady friend, Rachel Seville, becomes the most important woman in your life.

It’s time for a life assessment. How old are you? 25? 12? 39? You are? Ok, seriously, it’s time. It’s time to assess the fuck out of your life.

You have two choices: Fast for two weeks, which is not starving, but just being healthy according to some weird caveman-inspired cooking show I am watching as I write this. Or, you purge yo’ life. Clean it out! Get rid of that toxic matter! Spring cleaning, but, like, for the mind, man. Chicken Soup for the Spring Cleaner? Spring Cleaning for the chicken soup cook? I don’t know or care how jokes work, except that I think once in a while you're supposed to make a Disney reference in an irreverent context to make women under 25 laugh, so let’s just cut straight to the chase and examine the ten things you need to get out of your life right here, right now, right this very second.

Rachel Seville is a writer living in New York who believes in miracles. Read her blog, Pizza Rulez, here and follow her on Twitter here.