"The Skirt" is an ongoing series in which Four Pins' resident lady friend, Rachel Seville, becomes the most important woman in your life.

Nobody once said, “There are no boring people—just boring things.” Until now! We encounter about a hundred things a day that are the ultimate name in snooze: Genetically-modified plants, East Village bars, your friend’s Twitter account (“second day in a row i want chips”), first names that aren’t “Throckmore,” etc.

But while some things are merely boring, some things have it worse. They were once the cream of the crop, top banana and other various food idioms. And now, they are—how do I say this gently without starting a Tumblr—boring. Indulge me as I ruminate on the most boring of these boring things that absolutely must be made cool again. OR ELSE.

Rachel Seville is a writer living in New York who believes in miracles. Read her blog, Pizza Rulez, here and follow her on Twitter here.