Ruell and Ray got them ill almost dad jeans. There is no way your crotch could ever make whiskers like that. You need like, a lion's crotch or something to whisker your denim like these Handyside Straights. These joints are pre-order too. I know it’s hard to pre-order shit because, like, it’s not really an impulse buy, you know? And who knows if you’re gonna be into almost dad jeans in six months? Let me end the suspense, you will. Doss or Hotchkiss or WakaFlakavento will probably rock some insano almost dad jeans and you will be so happy you listened to me on March 13, 2013  and purchased the aforementioned denim.

P.S. “Handyside” is my new mom joke. “YOUR MOM TOOK ME TO HANDYSIDE last night. NEXT STOP BLOWIEVILLE, POPULATION: ME.” BURN!