If you’re like me and you’re a handsome, smart, sophisticated, well-spoken, charming, funny, preternaturally gifted, generous, kind-hearted and modest young man, you may find yourself frequently surrounded by people with a diverse set of interests and occupations. Sometimes, these very people may not be familiar with sites like Four Pins (to their detriment, of course). In that case, explaining why you care about fashion or menswear or, God forbid, #menswear can prove something of a challenge.

This is never more apparent than when you try to explain Fashion Week to someone who genuinely does not give a shit about it. If you think about it, from the outside, it can seem kind of insane: A bunch of people sitting around, looking at beautiful—or at least interesting-looking—people wearing clothes that nobody else can wear for at least another six months, if ever.

But every six months, Fashion Week rolls into town and the act of sitting around looking at people wearing clothes consumes the lives of otherwise rational people. Just as one of my friends expounds upon her ongoing crush on Lance Bass, sometimes the things you love don’t make any goddamn sense and definitely have their eyebrows professionally waxed. Maybe it is a little silly and there are probably other ways to accomplish the same end result, but let’s not let that stop us from trying to explain Fashion Week as it is.

And so, here I attempt to answer some questions about Fashion Week actually asked by people I know who don’t care about it at all.

Steve Dool is a writer based in New York City. Follow him on Twitter.