7 Reasons Why Shopping Drunk Online Is Awesome

Image via Complex Original

Once you already have a few in you, that APC Camo Jacket you were on the fence about all of sudden seems a lot cooler. Where you were previously teetering between "like it" and "love it," the beers in your body have decided that you absolutely must have it. Hence, you wake up to e-mail notifications confirming your new order.

If you try to shop drunk in the real world, you might end either making a fool out of yourself—or getting arrested. On the Internet, no one cares how drunk you are. There are no items to knock over in an alcohol-fueled stumble, and no disgruntled employees to call the police because your non-existent motor functions mean you can't walk out of the store.

When you go home and cop an item or two before you pass out, you wake up feeling like you did something. You didn't just have a few late-night snacks, you got a new pair of jeans, maybe that pair of performance sneakers you wanted for the gym, or maybe even just a couple new pairs of underwear, because it's easier to buy those than actually do laundry. 

At a bar with real, actual people? Don't let that curb your shopping addiction. Thanks to mobile-optimized sites and apps, it's never been easier to make impulse purchases from the comfort of your barstool. Hell, why not ask your equally drunken friends for advice on something in your cart? You can probably even make a game out of it. A shot for every item bought? Sure.

Your inhibitions are the first to go after a few stiff ones, so all of a sudden those Givenchy drop crotch trousers go from "not your thing" to "I could totally pull those off." Same goes for the Louis W gold bomber jacket you otherwise would never buy.  Of course, you can't actually afford either, so you drunkenly search the Internet for a cheaper version, ending up with a struggle Korean knockoff you found on eBay.

Every store is always open, and that's amazing. Doesn't matter if it's 4 pm or 4 am, barneys.com isn't going anywhere. An entire shoppable world is literally at your fingertips, and when you've got a good buzz going, you may find yourself visiting sites and looking at clothes you wouldn't normally be caught dead browsing sober. Who knows? You might even make a few new bookmarks.

When the morning after hits, you may or may not remember the purchases you made under the influence. At least, for the most part, these regret buys are often attached to return policies. Unlike say, an STD, you don't have to live with the consequences of your actions.