You Take Up More Closet Space Than Any Woman in Your Life
So your shopaholic ass miraculously landed a girlfriend, even after all those years of buying shit for yourself instead of buying her a decent birthday gift. And what do you know, you moved in with her, too. But now what? You tell her you need the bigger closet, plus the extra rolling rack, just like you told your mom before she kicked you out. You tell wifey you deserve it because, well, she still uses wire hangers.