You have a penchant for creative product photography
Everyone who was lucky enough to get their hands on that "new new" is taking pictures to post on their favorite social media sites and forums, but a real hypebeast knows that a regular ol' straight up and down photo ain't gonna cut it. It's time show your skillz. BOOM! Your sneakers are levitating. OH SHIT! It looks like a chick is fellating you while you both wear the same kicks, aka getting sneaker "head!" This ensures that you got the kicks everyone else wanted and there is another human being willing to touch you sexually. Take that, you bunch of virgin, non-heat-havin' bitches.