There is no go to list of what you SHOULD buy your girl for the holidays. There isn't enough research available to us to even begin to make such a list, bruh. Woman are highly complex when it comes to gifts. It is worth noting that to them shopping is their football. They get crazy hyped when they cop new shit so they can stunt in the end zone on other females. Shopping is a life long competition for females. Sound illogical? Yeah, so does shouting into a toy headset at your Halo 4 clan. Do not question any woman's ability to buy themselves what they really want. Thankfully, I did all the heavy lifting for you schmucks and picked some things you do NOT want to put under the tree for your boo. I am highly fluent in Womanese so I took it a step further and asked a panel of several of my babe friends regarding the definitive NOT gifts for the holidays. You can use this to cross reference all the bad ideas I'm sure are littering your own list. You with it? Leggo.

Skip Class is a writer living in Seattle. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.