Lifespan: 1989-1998
Reminds us of: The guy that lead anti-drug assemblies in school

This, my friends, is the end-all, be-all trifecta of terrible cuts. You've got balding, a patchy bleach job, and frizzy, shoulder-length curls. Throw in a power ballad or seven, and you've got a time capsule of the legend that is soft rock.