People who like to rag on sports really don’t understand the sense of camaraderie that forms among people who would probably otherwise hate each other, but share the common bond of being continually depressed by the same group of millionaires running around trying to not get injured. More importantly, they don’t understand the challenge of dressing for an overpriced visit to your local sporting venue without looking like a tool. Even for the most studied style bro, sports is one arena (get it!) where it’s easy to go awry quickly—and as someone who in high school wore an ill-fitting sportcoat over a Sean John hoodie over a jersey to Blazers games so I could move into the nice seats and have nobody notice because I looked like I might be somebody important like Justin Timberlake’s cousin or something—I feel qualified to tell you what not to do.

Angelo Spagnolo is a writer living in Portland, Oregon. Read his blog here and follow him on Twitter here.