Are you really about that cozy boy lifestyle? You do realize it takes determination, right? Sheer determination. Especially when you think your dick's gonna fall off and shatter into little tiny pieces on the pavement because it's so cold outside. So look cool (and aggressive as fuck apparently) and save your fiddlestick by facing the world in this Reigning Champ 3-ply Alpine Health Parka. Haberdash in Chicago is even hooking everyone up with a limited-time sale on this jacket, which you could probably die in and still be more comfortable than have these non-cozy-having bitchasses. But be forewarned, buying and wearing the parka will not guarantee the sheer Morpheus-meets-Prince sex appeal Alex Maier gives off in these photos.

Photography by Grant Legan