The Crouching Tiger, Hidden Parents
Supplies needed: Flexibility, mom's basement, curfew
Industry standard: @nickelcobalt
Besides the crouch pose fitting nicely into Instagram's square photo frame, the most important thing about these selfies is the background. Nothing spoils a good kit like a family portrait photobomb. All traces of any familial life are temporarily removed from the walls, and as he perfects his James Dean crouch, mom yells at him once again to "stop taking those damn Internet pictures!" and come to dinner.
As his free hot meal is served, he feels the push notifications start to vibrate his phone. At this rate, he can estimate about 115 likes, and he grins as he looks at his plate. His mom thinks the smile is for her cooking, and she silently decides that she and his father won't kick him out just yet.