Falke makes these awesome mukluk versions of socks. Straight lamping in socks with leather soles, son. Don’t stare when you see me in public getting some coffee for my aeropress in these. Shout out to Oi Polloi for the stepping on Legos reference. One time, when I was two and a half and my mom was pregnant with my sister, she stepped on one of my Legos and was like, “If you don’t pick these Legos up you’re gonna get in trouble.” And of course I was all like, “Nah, I’m cool on that.” So when my dad got home he said, “Jon, if you don’t pick these up and I do, you can’t play with them anymore.” I responded with, “Whatever.” I WAS A FUCKING G AT 2 YEARS OLD, B. I didn’t play with Legos for, like, 6 months! 6 months for a 2-year-old is like a 4 year bid. Moral of the story? Never pick up your Legos.