Every morning you suit up in a fresh sportcoat from Ralph Lauren, Engineered Garments, or Thom Browne. Underneath you slip on a crisp pair of Dior or Nudie jeans. But, you can't decide if you wanna go with brogues, Jordans, or Margiela sneakers today. Deciding which shoes to wear actually comprises 30 minutes of your morning routine. And then, when you're finally suited and booted, you jet off to work—which is actually the coffee shop down the street, where you divide your time between applying for odd jobs on Craigslist and writing "freelance" (because you don't get paid) articles for Thought Catalog.