How did very famous men who fucked over their wives apologize before social media? I implore them to go back to those days. Buy the “Make Up Bag” like The-Dream sang about in 2010, drop $4 million on a diamond ring like Kobe, and go on about your business. Leave the rest of us out of it.
Making up isn’t a marketing plan. These social media mea culpas are disingenuous at best—it’s likely the sudden contrition was motivated by either being caught or on the brink of being outed. And they’re self-serving at worst. Because the public figure has millions of followers, their apology seems amplified, producing an echo chamber of self-absolution. Composing a trite, “I treated you like shit, but you’re my world” post opens your relationship to further scrutiny, piques the world’s interest in what the offense may have been, and embarrasses your partner in the process.
The latest example is Carmelo Anthony, whose performative interest in his estranged wife has increased since news leaked that he allegedly impregnated another woman. News stories have framed it as though Carmelo is “pouring his heart out” on social media by liking Lala’s Instagram pictures and making her the subject of his own posts, as he did Sunday when he shared a photo that has everyone assuming he is trying to “win her back.”
He also employed that Earth emoji in a post the day after her birthday with a “heartfelt caption” professing his love:
Can we agree that a more heartfelt sentiment would have been to not violate the bond of fidelity in the first place? I think Lala would prefer not being cheated on rather than an Instagram declaration. Just a wild guess here.
Another example (of many, think of TI on Tiny’s birthday after he dumped her on their reality show) came on Mother’s Day, when Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton dedicated an Instagram post to the mother of his two children. It read, “To the woman that has alot of unknowns of what she means to me, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY NO MATTER WHAT our relationship status is i WILL LOVE YOU TO THE DAY i die.”
If he felt compelled to make such a statement, would it come across as more genuine if he said it directly to her—and stopped the behaviors that have left her so confused?
The point is, for these celebrities who think grandiose social media apologies are the move, I beg you to think twice. None of us were in the DMs, the hotel rooms, or clubs where the dirt went down. We don’t need to be around for the cleanup, either.
