Handicapping the Next Houston Rockets Head Coach

The Houston Rockets were in the Western Conference Finals just last season. Six short months ago. Today, following a 4-7 start—and a four-game losing streak—they fired head coach Kevin McHale. For now, they’ve promoted 36-year-old J.B. Bickerstaff, son of former NBA coach Bernie Bickerstaff, to the top job. Is he the long-term solution? Perhaps. But just in case he isn’t, we thought we’d handicap the rest of the field.

PRO: Coach of the Year in 2011, defensive genius.

CON: Would likely murder James Harden and Dwight Howard.

The idea of Thibodeau coaching someone who once had a defensive un-highlight reel made of them seems like some kind of sick joke. There would undoubtedly be yelling. Still, Harden has improved defensively, and Dwight Howard is a more than capable defender when he wants to be. The former Rockets assistant (2003-07) would be an intriguing fit.

PRO: Architect of “Seven Seconds or Less” Suns offense, a style validated by the Warriors.

CON: Defense, what’s that, sounds kinda familiar.

Ok, so Mike D’Antoni already coached  Howard once and we all know how that turned out. But this should be a different Dwight, and perhaps a different D’Antoni. In Harden, he would actually have a capable, elite scorer in his prime. Ty Lawson is capable of running a high-octane offense. As for defense, well, you can’t have everything.

PRO: Coach of the Year in 2010, was James Harden’s first coach.

CON: Is likely on a beach somewhere cashing checks.

Scott Brooks would be a much more likely possibility if he wasn’t still getting paid by the Thunder. He said when he was fired that he would take 2015-16 off, and it’s highly unlikely that the Rockets gig would be one to make him go back on that. Still, he coached Harden in OKC, and he’d take over a team fresh off a run to the conference finals. It’s definitely worth the cost of a phone call, assuming he’s somewhere with cell service.

PRO: May be the best out-of-work coach, must be tired of broadcasting by now.

CON: Was fired by the Rockets in 2007.

It’s kind of amazing that Jeff Van Gundy still hasn’t returned to coaching. He’s an excellent analyst and all, but this is a guy who was born to coach. Sure he was fired by the Rockets shortly after Daryl Morey took over as GM in 2007, but that was a long time ago. Can’t everyone just let bygones be bygones?

PRO: The big-balls dance.

CON: The big-balls dance.

Sam Cassell started his NBA career as a Houston Rocket. Drafted 24th overall out of Florida State in 1993, he helped lead the Rockets to consecutive championships in his first two seasons. He’s served as an assistant coach since 2009, and is currently on Doc Rivers’s staff in Los Angeles. Take an assistant away from a rival and bring back a hometown favorite at the same time? What’s not to love?

PRO: Is already the Rockets GM, he built this.

CON: Has never coached on the pro level and probably does not want to.

There is probably zero chance that Daryl Morey ever comes down and coaches the Rockets. He’s a numbers guy, and numbers are nice. Numbers don’t get injured, and numbers don’t hold numbers-only meetings. Coaching requires one to see players as actual people, rather than just statistics, and people are unpredictable. Let someone else deal with that.

PRO: Is possibly the most beloved Rocket in history.

CON: Can make way more money teaching rookies the Dream Shake.

It’s tough out there for ex-centers. Yes, Bill Russell was a coach once—won back-to-back titles with the Celtics—but Bill Cartwright is still waiting for his second chance and Patrick Ewing is still waiting for his first. For some reason it seems like while other ex-players are seen as able to coach everyone, centers are just seen as big-man coaches. To be fair, Olajuwon has established himself as perhaps the best of those, teaching footwork to everyone from Kobe Bryant to Amar’e Stoudemire. If anything, he’s TOO good—why would he take a pay cut to coach his old squad?

PRO: Led the Rockets to two titles in the ‘90s.

CON: Was a disaster in Los Angeles, hasn’t coached in the NBA since 2005.

"Don't ever underestimate the heart of a champion!" Wielded correctly, that phrase alone could add a good 10 wins to the Rockets total, despite their having not won a title since, well, since Rudy Tomjanovich led them to their second in two seasons 20 years ago. Tomjanovich left the Rockets due to illness in 2003, and neither they nor him have been the same since. He’s still only 66, the same age as Gregg Popovich. Has the modern game passed him by? Only one way to find out!

PRO: Houston legend, goes to lots of Rockets games.

CON: Has never coached basketball before.

The only real involvement Bun B has had with the Houston Rockets outside of attending games has been doing remixes for playoff runs. But if reaching millennials is so important that Brian Shaw could get fired for NOT doing it, why not hire someone who EVERYONE will listen to? Well, maybe except for Donatas Motiejūnas.