2016 Mercedes-Maybach S600

         
0 4.5 out of 5 stars
Engine:
6.0L biturbo V-12
Transmission:
7-speed automatic
Drivetrain:
RWD
Horsepower:
523 hp @ 4,900-5,300 rpm
Torque:
612 lb-ft @ 1,900-4,000 rpm
Fuel Economy:
20 mpg
MSRP:
$189,350

The Mercedes-Maybach S600 is a car to ride in—the kind that's too nice to drive, only because it's so much better to be sitting in the backseat of it. Anyone—whether they're an auto connoisseur, a window shopper, or a kid listening to Rick Ross—knows that the brand is one which symbolizes luxury. There's no other way to put it. The name has been crystallized as a benchmark for aspiring millionaires (and billionaires). When you finally get your money, you get your Maybach. And when you finally get your Maybach, you don't drive it; you hire a driver to chauffeur you around while you look out windows, surveying the city that you now feel like you own. This car is boss-level.

A couple weeks ago, we had the honor of riding—and, yes, driving—in Mercedes-Maybach's latest model. The opportunity came courtesy of Mercedes themselves, which was hosting a team of writers for a two-day staycation in the city. Much of the action centered on the U.S. Open, where Serena and Venus were squaring off in the evening quarterfinals (which, as you'll recall, Serena took in three sets), followed the next night by an easy win for Roger Federer against Richard Gasquet. We took in the action from Mercedes' luxury box, treating us to a viewing experience unlike any other.

Going to Open is always a highlight when the end of the summer rolls around. It's a staple of the city's sporting scene, and is a time-honored tradition as any in the United States. However, riding in the newest edition of the Mercedes-Maybach may have overshadowed our evening festivities. To help explain why, let's break down some of the comfort and convenience options in this vehicle [via MBUSA.com]: 

  • "Heated 12-way power seats with memory"
  • "Active multicontour front seats with massage"
  • "Multicolor/multizone LED ambient lighting"
  • "Cabin fragrance system"
  • "Power Executive rear seats with memory"
  • "EASY-ADJUST rear-seat head restraints"
  • "Exclusive NAPPA leather upholstery"
  • "SILVER HANDCRAFTED CHAMPAGNE FLUTES" (emphasis our own)
  • "REFRIGERATOR BOX FOR REAR CABIN" (emphasis our own)

These are just a few of the car's countless amenities, and they all add up to one conclusion: This car is fucking jaw-dropping. This car is existential crisis-inducing. This car is worth more than you and me and everyone we know. Please, read those last two bullet points again. THIS CAR COMES EQUIPPED WITH CHAMPAGNE FLUTES AND A CHAMPAGNE FRIDGE. THE SEATS CAN MASSAGE YOU. THERE ARE TVs HOOKED ONTO THE BACK OF THE FRONT SEATS. It is so on another level that it makes you wonder whether you're even playing the same game. 

Of course, driving the car is a pleasurable experience, too. There are some very handy and well-designed features that will make your drive safe and smooth all the way through: "MAGIC BODY CONTROL" (emphasis theirs), "Electromechanical power steering", the "ECO Start/Stop system", and the "6.0L biturbo V-12 engine", to name a few. The car's size is deceptive—it feels longer and a bit wider than you might expect—so driving on narrow roads can feel dicey at first, but a little time behind the wheel should correct any concerns or worries. The car is so responsive and self-aware that it almost seems sentient. 

That recognition comes in handy on the highway, too. If the S600 notices that you may be drifting out of your lane, it sends a subtle pulse through the wheel to alert you of your position. It's almost as if the vehicle knows how much it's worth, and how much any resulting scratch or fender-bender would cost you. It's considerate, to say the least. 

Indeed, there are many great things you can say about this car: The design is classic and elegant; the perks are hilariously ostentatious, but no less appreciated; the ride is fine-tuned and even. Unfortunately, the price is a swift reality check for those of us who don't sign their names as either "Rozay" or "S. Carter." The car is in a class of its own, tag included.

So, yeah, maybe the Mercedes-Maybach S600 is only an aspiration or a hope for you. But, even if you can only drive it with your eyes closed, from the safety of your bed, it's still worth pining for. Sweet dreams are made of this.