These stories about Rob Ford, unhinged high school football coach, are so outrageous they sound like satire. 

The Toronto Catholic School Board released documents this week, which detail how and why the Toronto mayor was removed from his head coaching position with the Don Bosco Eagles last May. The documents allege a laundry list of infractions, highlights of which include: showing up to practices “visibly inebriated,” allegations that he offered custodians cash to keep the school open after hours for conditioning purposes, and breaking an agreement to purchase 25 football helmets for $5,000.

Ford's also accused of threatening to beat up a teacher and, perhaps most egregiously, making players roll around in "goose scat" during a postgame practice. Apparently, Rob Ford coaches high school football—well—as you'd expect Rob Ford to coach high school football.

Ford is banned from coaching in the TCDSB, andaccording to the Toronto Sunrefused to answer questions about his tenure at Don Bosco during a Wednesday night meeting at City Hall. For more on this story, check out the video above.

[via CP24]