Here are five reasons baseball is the best sport in the world:

1. “American” football is just Capture the Flag inverted, wherein one team (the offense) tries to put a ball where the other team (the defense) doesn’t want them to. It’s got concussions and the occasional compound fracture.

2. “Everyone else’s” football is just Capture the Flag inverted, wherein one team (the offense) tries to put a ball where the other team (the defense) doesn’t want them to. It’s got dives and the occasional cracked vertebra.

3. Basketball is just Capture the Flag inverted, wherein one team (the offense) tries to put a ball where the other team (the defense) doesn’t want them to. It’s got Magic Johnson doing analysis, exposure to which has been known to cause developmental problems in humans.

4. Hockey is soccer on ice, with sticks. It’s got bare knuckle fighting and some of football’s concussions, but, blissfully, it’s gone 903-work days without one of its players suffering a cracked vertebra. Suck on that OSHA (you, too, FIFA).

5. Baseball’s the only (male) sport in town right now.

Unless you’re talking NBA Summer League, and if you say “But I watch the Summer League,” make sure you’re trying to impress someone, because there is a little known codicil in the Constitution that grants every U.S. man, woman, and child the right to deliver one penalty-free open-hand slap to anyone who begins a sentence with the words, “Hey, Jabari Parker almost had a triple double for the Summer Bucks today!”

We don’t know why you want to know about the rest of this year’s baseball season. Maybe the argument above is just super convincing. Maybe your company sponsors a team-building night out at the local ballpark and you want to be able to chit-chat with the hot girl in accounting who’s always droning on about her Strat-O-Matic team. (Here's a freebie: Darwin Barney's "1" at second does not in any way make up for his hitting. Thank us later.) Maybe you just like baseball and Complex Sports is your trusted source for seamhead analysis. Who the hell knows. You're here, we're here, let's get it on. Herewith, What You Need to Know (And a Lot You Don't) to Follow the Rest of the 2014 Baseball Season.