No. of kids / No. or baby mamas: 8 / 5

Cal Ripken Jr. once called Vlad The Impaler, "the best bad-ball hitter" he's ever seen, which is to say that Guerrero rarely meets a pitch he doesn't like. Which is also to say that this guy definitely isn't picky when it comes to swinging for the fences. Which is also to say...well, you can probably tell where we're going with this, right?