Kevin Garnett will go down as a Hall of Famer at some point in the near future (hopefully in five years, it's time to retire fam). But for now, he's a respected veteran. He's also known as a pretty old veteran, the kind goes from scoring in the 20s consistently come playoffs time to being held to a modest 6.9 points.
But today we celebrate Garnett on his 38th birthday. There's been much written about his defensive and scoring proficiency (although you only need to listen to Styles P's verse for a quick, solid synopsis). What's not been written about enough are his facial expressions. Garnett is passionate about the game and his feels, which leads to some cartoonish, but probably ubiquitous expressions. There are a lot of them, too: elation, grief, struggle, angst, aggression, joy, murderous tendencies. We've narrowed them down to 38, and they just so happen to be the ones that could apply to your non-professional basketball-playing lifestyle. So here it is: 38 Kevin Garnett Facial Expressions You Can Use in Everyday Situations.
Written by Brian Josephs (@Bklyn_Rock)
You left your ID at home, but the liquor store owner let you slide.
When your bro got the job at Finish Line. Finally, a connect.
A stranger stepped on your Jordans with his muddy AND1s. He's at least 20 pounds heavier than you, stockier, and has no neck. He also didn't say sorry.
They're taking a bit too long to come back with those STD test results.
You see someone getting severely beaten in a fight, and you're thinking Worldstar. Notifying the authorities doesn't get you pageviews.
When you haven't eaten in hours, and the server still finds some way to mess up your order.
When you take your girl to the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet and she comes prepared with Ziploc bags in her purse.
When you're feeling extra lusty.
When you run into some stick-up kids who like your shoes.
Your roommate walks in and you gotta explain the missing gallon of milk.
You see an Instagram relationship post that's something along the lines of, "An ex is an EXample of someone you shouldn't be with." You sarcastically think to yourself, "Keep spitting that real, bro."
Your boss just told you he needs you at the office this weekend. Mind you, this is the same weekend when the Governors Ball takes place. He didn't say anything about offering that $200 refund either.
The stupid NBA 2K14 with its stupid controls does the exact opposite of what you want it to do. AARRGGH!
You stare at your brother-in-law across the dinner table as he talks crap about you. You know you can't do anything because he can end you anytime he wants.
When you need to hit that 7-11.
When you cut off your music just to hear someone say something out of context. You hear "the penetration is unreal" instead of "The team has really stepped their game up. Especially off-the-dribble, the penetration is unreal ."
When you ask your friend if he wants to put in for pizza and he laughs as he says, "Nah, man. You already know I ain't got the dough." He thinks being broke is hilarious.
When someone is lying to your face so blatantly it's comic.
Your girl angrily demands to know who this girl Sarah think she is texting you talkin' bout, "What time you want to come over?" You try to laugh it off. She isn't joking.
You have to go into the bad part of the neighborhood to pick up your girl and a gang of unsavory characters are grilling you as you make your way up the apartment complex.
You watch G-Baby from Hardball die, and you realize nothing you can do in life will bring him back.
When you find a $20 bill in the street and you contemplate what you're going to spend it on.
Bartender hooks you up with another shot for being cool.
You see some stranger from a far inching toward your iPhone that's charging by an outlet. They're not very slick.
When you saved up three months for that Supreme drop, so you take every opportunity to inform folks that you are, in fact, wearing Supreme.
Shh! Game of Thrones is coming on.
When a fundraiser representative is trying to approach you on the street, but you walk faster and pretend you can't hear them because you have your headphones on. Music isn't playing, but he/she doesn't need to know that.
The girl you've been trying to talk to finally accepted your Facebook friend request. You see she's made a status complaining about her Louboutins not fitting. She's high maintenance...
...But it's tax refund season.
Cuffin' season is over. You've been uncuffed...through a text.
Ja Rule comes on in the club and you turn up, but your friends look at you funny because—you know—it's not 2001. You think to yourself: it's time to get new friends.
The re-up comes a day before rent is due. The landlord is going to have to find another dude to evict.
When you're in the back of a cab and the driver turns up the radio when the "Dreams & Nightmares" intro comes on. You realize he's cool, but you're still going to have to pay up that $10. And you're OK with that.
When the girl you're trying to cuff texts you first. You might just succeed.
When the person in front of you waits until she's next in Chipotle to try to figure out what to order. Chipotle is not that hard.
You introduce your friend to a female associate and leave them alone for a conversation. He comes and tells you he didn't get the number. It's like, "Dawg, why did I even waste my time?"
When your parents put that extra $100 in your bank account. Great. You can eat this weekend.
You weren't smart enough to withdraw the money as cash. So your mom saw in the bank statement that you spent that money on booze. She's scolding you, and you can't say anything because you deserve it.
