I've watched Rocky IV four times this past month and it still hurts. Feb. 20 was the first time that most of the United States watched women's hockey in four years, because that's just what you do when you think a team is going to win. After all, it's not bandwagoning if it's for America. However, America didn't win. They lost by a goalpost. A fucking goalpost. February got off to a rough start with that weak Super Bowl, but things went downhill after that goalpost nonsense happened.
Not only did the U.S. women's hockey team lose, but the men's hockey team started playing weak when it mattered most and ended its tournament without a medal, thanks to a 5-0 blowout at the hands of Finland. United States became the first one to lose—because that's what second place is at the end of the day—to Russia in the medal count. This is the same country that couldn't get it together and held a shoddy Olympics filled with struggles inside and out of the Games.
The bad luck spilled into national sports. The invincible LeBron James broke his nose and...actually a lot of the fails fell on the Knicks. They sucked just like they have all season, but this month they solidified themselves as the innovators of sucking. Too harsh? The buzzer-beater from Dirk Nowitzki set a new standard. Then there's Raymond Felton getting caught with a weapon in one of the worst possible states: the Big Apple.
What kept February from being a total tragedy was John Calipari's amazing facial expression and AT-AT Walkers—you know, from Star Wars—invading Sochi. Here's The Best Sports GIFs of February 2014.